Crustless Rainbow Chard and Cheese Quiche

I just pulled a crustless rainbow chard and cheese quiche out of the oven. (This is what I did in lieu of going to the gym tonight. Well, that and wrestle with Sprint over a new phone and plan.) It's beautifully browned on the top and smells heavenly. You can find the recipe here: http://collardgreenblog.blogspot.com/2009/07/crustless-rainbow-chard-quiche.html.

Last week, I tried carrot tops in soup, and it was unpleasant. They tasted...well, how you'd imagine carrot tops to taste: grassy and bitter and like something that you'd only eat if the rest of your crops had been destroyed in a plague of locusts or you live in a cold, god-forsaken part of the world (Mount Horeb in February?) or the fief of the feudal estate you call home demanded more of your meager agricultural output, pushing you and your family to the edge of starvation. Yeah. That's how they taste.

Pickling Phobias + Fender Benders

Pickling intimidates me. I'm fearful that I'll screw it up and be forever linked to a botulism epidemic ala Typhoid Mary. Except I'd be Botulism Erica. But with last weekend's Farm and Fleet purchase (jar grabber, pint and quart jars, and a few other tools), I will conquer my fear. As god is my witness, I shall never be pickle-less again. :) I've enlisted a few friends, and we might try beets and dilly beans next weekend.

And now a small recap of last weekend: On Friday night, I attended a Cock Party at the Inferno. We knew one of the four bands (The Type), so we went to see them perform. There was also an art show gravitating around....you guessed it, male genitalia. The reasoning behind the show was that male erotic parts are generally ignored in art. Well, that may be the case (with some notable exceptions such as Mapplethorpe and Michelangelo), but it's also true that you could throw a stone and hit a guy who'd be more than happy to regale you with a description of his junk.

On Saturday morning, I went to Macy's to get a bachelorette party gift. As I was waiting behind a parked SUV for another car to leave, the SUV proceeded to back right into my passenger-side door. The driver was very nice about it, though. He first asked if I was alright and then apologized, saying he's not used to driving his wife's car. He was using the camera viewer thingy to back up, but apparently something wasn't functioning correctly. "It usually beeps," he said. I didn't ask why he didn't also look in the rearview mirror. He gave me his insurance and contact info., and I've already filed a claim. So not a big deal, although I must admit that I was shaken up for awhile that day.

Purple Things That Are Way Cooler Than Barney

Howdy. I just got out of the shower after watching episode 1 of season 2 of True Blood. I love it when a shockingly gruesome scene ending an episode is immediately followed by incongruent music. In this case, a horrible murder scene transferred over into a perky country song.

Last Thursday night, I made purple carrots braised in a red wine sauce with garlic mashed potatoes and black beluga lentils with spinach and garlic scapes. As many of you already know (I've been yapping about it ever since ;)), it was a divine version of a bastardized, separated shepherd's pie. And they said I couldn't cook comfort food!

Garlic mashed potatoes are simple. I use butter and soymilk or real dairy of some sort if I have it on hand. For the lentils, just cover them with a bit of water and add some vegetable or chicken broth for flavor. I don't measure or time it. You just do it a few times until you've gotten the hang of it, and it depends if you like your lentils a little soupy or not. The carrots were braised in a sauce of onions, garlic, mushrooms (recipe called for porcini, but I used shiitake because it's what I had), red wine, rosemary, thyme, a smidge of flour, and a dash of tamari. You could also add tomato paste to thicken it. There's a great recipe for it in Deborah Madison's Local Flavors: Cooking and Eating from America's Farmers' Markets.)